What I used to think~

On 11 of Nov 2009, I used to create a blog and write some descriptions on 'about this blog', to give understanding for the visitors of my page and why I am creating a blog. May be I am not alike other person does, who wrote some posts about their love story, about their lifestyle ...and even nonsense, haha. Ok actually I am creating a blog to stamp all the memories, even it's sour, sweet, bitter or spicy..

Well, I have so much memories as mentioned above in my life go until 18... But I am still so happy...People, places, day and night, how my life goes, are stamped in my blog.

So my visitors, enjoy while visiting my blog...^^
Have a nice day^^

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

心情

Somewhere in the Msia
Somewhere in the Sarawak
Somewhere in the Miri
Somewhere in a area
Somewhere, somewhere my heart is not with me 
As I’m trying to hide, hiding behind the feeling...

Since when, that feeling rose. I don't like it, it makes me unhappy.
Lately, I am moody in days, hours, anywhere, anytime. I just can’t be cheer up.
*Last night*
Under the ceiling stars, with the music of Mother Nature, i heard the insects and river flowing, i smell the air, i felt cool, i saw stars...

Everything in my sight, nothing is moving.
Since when, i started thinking, thinking of "impossible".
Since when, i "emo". The feeling was gross!

*Thinking the way to start writing*
Well, actually, the feeling started just because of only a girl.
Her name is Park Shin Hye.
She moved me, touched me deep inside me...How could her?!!
She is an angel who mesmerized... really..
She is alluring, beautiful, gorgeous, adorable, loving, so caring... radiance with pure light
She is an actor, singer, and a very big superstar, somewhere in the Korea.
How could i am trying to share and post this weird expression, this is not exactly my style!!!
How could i... i... like her?
Okay, I know its sound stupid.
Ya, i thought too, how can I... I... I... fall? in love with a SUPERSTAR??? Who has millions of fans!!!
And i am sure the readers start laughing that how childish am I. Sad case.
But i just can’t... can’t... stopping? for liking her? WTF!!
I have to say it out, I have to write it down, maybe i will feel better... : (
I wanna stop that... that feeling... 
hahaha... idiot me... seriously...

I searched her official site, official fan site, in everywhere...
I searched her movies
I searched her dramas
I searched her songs
I searched her MV
I searched her pictures
Even, her recent activities
And I have wasted days just because of her
Is it worth to do that?
She is the second person who I loved deeply

I knew I am just a boy, a small character
Even hardly to reach a chance to be with her
I have thought too much, I knew that
I told myself that it’s impossible, and I should forget her or just be her little admirer, tiny admirer

Everything, every person, every person, every movement, any sound in the surroundings, any feeling, every second, time move, earth moves.
Guess what is she doing now?
How do I know?
Hope do I know. Haha, idiot me…
Haiz..hope I can care of her, protect her, or be with her.
And again, I talked nonsense, I said “impossible”.

Love a person is hard.
Especially if she is the one who is… unreachable one
Time move, I should not wasting my time… on her, it’s impossible
And yet, soon, or when I grown up, I will tell myself that this passage is written by me and I will not feel shameful and stupid.
Because,
This is my life, the experiences I have gone through is my experience, other people will not understand it, perhaps?

But still,
I as a little admirer, will always support you,
Park Shin Hye : )


1 comment:

  1. Yea, I totally agree with you. Well, it's not I like Park Shin Hye or anything, but the fact that even one teeny tiny living organism can like a farfetched person. [sighs] i like someone too, but it's just in the mangas [japanese comic books]. Your passage inspired me and actually, I emailed the author of that manga to make Sasuke Uchiha's appearance quite often.

    Well, I'm not being nosy or something. I'm just blogwalking. Keep it up. I liked your writing style, especially the stanza with "something" at the start.

    that's

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